It’s perfectly normal to feel blue when certain events and chapters of your life come to an end. Whether it is people coming into and moving out of your life, or events you have long prepared for come to an end, there is going to be a period of time when you feel let down and you ask yourself “what now?” This feeling is especially common at the end of a pageant and when a queen passes on her title to a new person.

The first thing you need to realize is that the feeling of loss is a natural part of the healing and growth process. Don’t try to skip it or devalue it. It’s important for you to take your time and fully go through it. Recognize the emptiness you are feeling and embrace it for a short time. Take the time to reflect on your memories so you feel like you have had closure. Look at photos, hold trinkets, and read old letters. Do whatever it is you are feeling led to do. Here are a couple questions to think about while you are in this reflective period of time:

 

• What was it about the experience that I enjoyed most?
• Whose life did I make a difference in the most?
• What did you like the least about this experience?
• How could you have made more of the situation?
• Where would I spend less of my time and energy on if I could do it again?
• Where would I spend more of my time?
• How can I take what I have learned and continue with it?

 

Using my own personal life as an example, when I felt the pageant “blues”, they usually lasted from one day to a week depending on the level of the pageant I was competing in and how long my preparation time was leading up to it. Certain situations that happened at the pageant would also affect the intensity of my feelings. Controversy and conflict always took more time for me to process than a well run system. That’s why I said up to a week. During this time, I was in complete low maintenance mode- no hair styling, no makeup, no high heels, no working out and I ate everything I wanted.

I just needed that “me” time to decompress and feel bad. Yes, you heard me right. I gave myself permission to feel bad; and if you need someone else’s permission, I give you my permission to feel bad, too. It’s alright to feel sad.

The key is not to stay stuck in the dark. Just like a beautiful garden flower must die in order to produce multiple seeds for new flowers, the beautiful moments of our life must also come to an end so that the “seeds” can be planted and new opportunities present themselves. You won’t know at the time which seeds will grow and which ones will remain dormant. Just believe that every seed serves its purpose and at its perfect time.

You must keep moving forward. Take time to reflect, and then take action. This week, we had to have our dog who was 16 ½ years old put to sleep. I lost my dad to cancer 6 months ago and my dog in the same way - with me holding on to both of them at the end. It has been a week of sadness and reflection; but now it is time to move on. In my life I have learned that the end is never the end. Instead, endings are gateways to new beginnings which are filled with hope, opportunities and promise. I’m sending my deepest blessings to you today and always.

Request my free special report, 10 Insider Secrets to Winning, and receive my free award winning newsletter weekly. Just click here to GET YOUR FREE REPORT.Then fill out your name and email address in the boxes.

INTERVIEW CARD

The ability to answer questions about you, your purpose, current events, and controversial topics in a clear way is an important life skill. The more you practice, the better you will get. This handy interview card is a great way to practice with a partner or to use by yourself.
The Beginning 10 Questions are the staple interview questions everyone must know the answers in an interview. Now preparing for your interview is easy and for a limited time FREE.

Rhonda Shappert is an expert pageant coach, an iPEC Certified Professional Coach, an Energy Leadership Index Master Practitioner, and an Associate Certified Coach (ACC) with the International Coach Federation (ICF).

She created Winning Through Pageantry® to partner with pageant contestants and their support people to provide complete pageant preparation, achieve winning results in life through pageantry, and to Succeed From The Inside Out®.

She has over 30 years experience in the pageantry world as a contestant, judge, emcee, staff member, mother of daughters who compete, Mrs. Ohio America 2005, and has held multiple titles at the local, state and national levels.

Rhonda graduated Cum Laude with a Bachelors degree in Musical Theater from The Ohio State University and has performed on stage in 15 countries on the Asian, European and American continents. This mother of three home educates their children and has been married 22 years to her husband Stephen, is the former mayor of her community, and serves on the Board of Trustees for the Ohio Virtual Academy. She and her husband perform original contemporary Christian music.  For more information on Rhonda, visit  www.WinningThroughPageantry.com .

At some point in your pageant experience, you are going to be asked questions about politics. A contestant’s level of ignorance (the condition of being uneducated, unaware, or uninformed) is quickly revealed based on her answers about general politics and government.

Having been an elected member of council, former mayor of my community, and a current school board member, I have learned a lot about politics in the past 13 years. I’m not an expert, but I know and understand how government works. I also know where to go and what to do if I feel a social ill needs to be changed. The system no longer intimidates me nor do the people holding elected offices. I respect their authority; but I am not intimidated as I once was in my youth.

I understand why people think it is complicated and don’t want to get involved. Growing up I had no interest in politics. I didn’t understand politics, I had no idea of how the governing process affected me, and it wasn’t a topic talked about in my home. Plus, I always had the impression that it was a “guy” thing. Oh my, I shudder at even saying that.

The switch came almost 15 years ago when a housing development issue happened in my town and I needed to get involved. There will come a time in your live when something will happen to you, your family or community where you will need to understand how our government works in order to have something corrected. Start now by educating yourself on the basics and work your way up.
The way to educate yourself is to become familiar with the basic vocabulary used in politics and certain fundamental laws in your state.

Become very familiar with the Sunshine Law, or Open Meetings and Public Records Act, within your state- just search those words online. This law explains how meetings are open to the public, how to request public records, and other very important topics regarding meetings and records. Violation of this law may render a law invalid along with other legal ramifications. Also check with your state Municipal League for educational materials and Google your state’s Codified Law, or Revised Code. Again, I am not an attorney but rather a very informed citizen and former public official.

It’s important to note that government was set up with a system of checks and balances so no one branch of government goes on an ego trip thinking they have more power than they actually do…LOL.

All branches are intended to be of equal importance. The different governing powers are split up amongst the three branches- executive, legislative and judicial.
The national level of our legislative body is called Congress and is made up of the House of Representative (called Congressmen) and the Senate (called Senators). Both make laws.

Our country is politically divided and subdivided. Realize that every division and subdivision has its own set of laws. Don’t assume what is law in one state or town is going to be the same in another. I’m going to use Ohio as an example to illustrate the dividing. Below is a photo of how Ohio is divided into the 88 counties.

States are divided into counties. Counties are divided into townships. Within townships, there are incorporated municipalities of towns and cities, and rural farmland areas which are unincorporated. Every piece of land in the United States falls under someone’s authority. It’s important for you to know which governing authorities control the law making processes where you live and provide services to you. Each level of government is responsible for different types of services and have specific law making authority. This is a photo of how Pickaway County is divided into the fifteen townships.

In a township, the Board of Trustees is the governing body. This would include the rural, farming areas and the towns and cities within the township. So if the your farm road needs more gravel or pavement, that is an issue for your Trustees.

In municipalities, you’ll either be a town or village based on the population. Towns and villages have smaller populations. Every state has a different scale but towns and villages generally have populations under 5000 people. Cities are usually over 5000 people. There are different governing laws for towns/villages than for cities, so you have to know which one your municipality is.

Here is a very general explanation of the different levels of government and what they do.

National Level

• Legislative Branch - Congress which is made up of the House and the Senate. They make the laws.
• Judicial Branch - Supreme Court Judges interpret the meaning of the constitution and national laws.
• Executive Branch - The President is the head of the executive branch and puts the laws passed by Congress into action and enforces them. He does this will the help of his cabinet, which the President selects. Some positions need the approval of Congress.

State Level

• Legislative Branch - The Legislature is made up of the House of Representatives and the Senate. They make the laws.
• Judicial Branch - State Supreme Court Judges interprets the meaning of the state laws.
• Executive - The Governor is the head of the executive branch at the state level. He puts the laws passed by the legislature into action and enforces them. He does this will the help of his cabinet.

County Level

• The County Commissioners are the governing body for the county.
• Judicial Branch - The county courts interpret county wide laws.

Township Level

• The Board of Trustees govern within the township.

Local Municipalities

• Legislative Branch - The Council makes the laws within a town or city.
• Executive Branch – The Mayor is the head of the local executive branch and the responsibilities are to put the ordinances (local laws) passed by the council into action and enforce them.
• Judicial Branch - Mayor’s Court interprets and upholds local ordinances (laws).

So why is it important to understand the division of power in our government? Because every time I’m judging a pageant and a contestant answers the question “If I were President (or insert the word Governor, or Mayor) of my area, I would make a law to …” I role my eyes because these offices do not make the law. Same goes if they say they want to be a judge because they feel it’s important to make laws to keep the criminals off the streets. Sigh… honorable intention, but judges DO NOT make laws, they interpret the meaning of the laws.

And that concludes my politics 101 class for today. I hope that helps. Maybe I should have done a clever You Tube clip in the theme of Schoolhouse Rock to share my thoughts…LOL. Hmmm, now there’s a thought.

Request my free special report, 10 Insider Secrets to Winning, and receive my free award winning newsletter weekly. Just click here to GET YOUR FREE REPORT.Then fill out your name and email address in the boxes.

INTERVIEW CARD

The ability to answer questions about you, your purpose, current events, and controversial topics in a clear way is an important life skill. The more you practice, the better you will get. This handy interview card is a great way to practice with a partner or to use by yourself.
The Beginning 10 Questions are the staple interview questions everyone must know the answers in an interview. Now preparing for your interview is easy and for a limited time FREE.

Rhonda Shappert is an expert pageant coach, an iPEC Certified Professional Coach, an Energy Leadership Index Master Practitioner, and an Associate Certified Coach (ACC) with the International Coach Federation (ICF).

She created Winning Through Pageantry® to partner with pageant contestants and their support people to provide complete pageant preparation, achieve winning results in life through pageantry, and to Succeed From The Inside Out®.

She has over 30 years experience in the pageantry world as a contestant, judge, emcee, staff member, mother of daughters who compete, Mrs. Ohio America 2005, and has held multiple titles at the local, state and national levels.

Rhonda graduated Cum Laude with a Bachelors degree in Musical Theater from The Ohio State University and has performed on stage in 15 countries on the Asian, European and American continents. This mother of three home educates their children and has been married 22 years to her husband Stephen, is the former mayor of her community, and serves on the Board of Trustees for the Ohio Virtual Academy. She and her husband perform original contemporary Christian music.  For more information on Rhonda, visit  www.WinningThroughPageantry.com .

One of the most common comments you may receive after your pageant interview is that you sounded too rehearsed. The judges can say this in a number of different ways including the words “sounded too coached, memorized, programmed, stiff, fake, pageanty, formal, intellectual, nervous” and the list goes on. It boils down to the fact that you didn’t speak WITH the judges, but rather TO them.

The interview must be a conversation. A good conversation requires listening and speaking by both parties. Notice, I did not use the word “telling”. Telling is when you are focused on you. When you are truly listening to the other person, you are turning your attention from yourself and focusing on them. That’s when the conversation becomes magical and you will connect with the judges.

Here are 5 common mistakes that I see when I am judging a pageant or working with a client on interview.

• Being a copy cat. If you are imitating someone else’s style, using their words, or copying their information, you will come across as fake. You must take time to explore and reflect on who YOU ARE and expressing yourself.

• Thinking instead of feeling. In other words, speaking from your head and not your heart will back fire on you. Don’t waste your time trying to figure out what the judges are looking for or coming up with answers you think will sound impressive and great. Stop thinking. People connect with you when they “feel” something, not “think” something. Speak from your heart.

• Focusing on the words and not your message. Do you to remember why you hated history class in school? It was a class filled with too many facts, quotes, or words that didn’t mean anything to you. Focus on sharing your message instead being the next Jeopardy contestant. You do need to know your facts. It’s the way your present the facts that make the difference between being real and fake.

• Failing to prepare- Never memorize interview answers word for word. Even if you have been asked the same question 5 times before, when you answer the question your answer must sound like it is the first time you are answering it. This takes time and practice to develop. And the answer is no if you are thinking that you’ll sound more natural by not practicing and you’ll just winging it.

• Letting your thoughts and nerves control you. You need to be aware of your internal dialogue at all times. It can be both your best friend and worst enemy. Same thing goes for your nerves. You need to learn how to quickly relax when you get stressed.

If you can work on these 5 areas, not only will your interview scores go up; but you will become a better communicator and the quality of your relationships will increase in life beyond the pageant.

Request my free special report, 10 Insider Secrets to Winning, and receive my free award winning newsletter weekly. Just click here to GET YOUR FREE REPORT.Then fill out your name and email address in the boxes.

INTERVIEW CARD

The ability to answer questions about you, your purpose, current events, and controversial topics in a clear way is an important life skill. The more you practice, the better you will get. This handy interview card is a great way to practice with a partner or to use by yourself.
The Beginning 10 Questions are the staple interview questions everyone must know the answers in an interview. Now preparing for your interview is easy and for a limited time FREE.

Rhonda Shappert is an expert pageant coach, an iPEC Certified Professional Coach, an Energy Leadership Index Master Practitioner, and an Associate Certified Coach (ACC) with the International Coach Federation (ICF).

She created Winning Through Pageantry® to partner with pageant contestants and their support people to provide complete pageant preparation, achieve winning results in life through pageantry, and to Succeed From The Inside Out®.

She has over 30 years experience in the pageantry world as a contestant, judge, emcee, staff member, mother of daughters who compete, Mrs. Ohio America 2005, and has held multiple titles at the local, state and national levels.

Rhonda graduated Cum Laude with a Bachelors degree in Musical Theater from The Ohio State University and has performed on stage in 15 countries on the Asian, European and American continents. This mother of three home educates their children and has been married 22 years to her husband Stephen, is the former mayor of her community, and serves on the Board of Trustees for the Ohio Virtual Academy. She and her husband perform original contemporary Christian music.  For more information on Rhonda, visit  www.WinningThroughPageantry.com .